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Wildly Funny Animal Jokes.
Wildly Funny Animal Jokes: Track down wild animal humor, fauna puns, funny wildlife riddles, rabid memes and naturally funny wild animal jokes.
12 MEMES
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More wordplay: 89 text jokes
Bar
none, this Painful animal Pun is one very
stinky skunk joke. Guilty as charged.
Q.
Why are skunks so clever?
A. Because they have natural in-stinks!
Q.
Why didn't the skunk call home?
A. His phone was out of odor!
Q.
How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A. A phew!
Q.
What do you get if you cross a Star Wasr bot and a skunk?
A. R2-PU.
Q.
How much money does a skunk need?
A. Just one scent.
Q.
Which smells worse, a skunk or a stinkbug?
A. Yes!
Q.
What do you get if you cross an owl with a cat?
A. Meowls.
Q.
Which kind of books do sleuth owls enjoy?
A. Hoot-dunits.
Q.
What do you call a baby owl swimming?
A. A Moist-owlette.
Q.
What do you call owls that only hunt at night?
A. Bedtime preyers.
Q.
What is the most common type of urban owl violence?
A. Drive by hooting.
Q.
What is an owl party called?
A. A hootenanny.
Hooting
Hookup Line: Hey baby,
I've been thinking about you – owl night long...
Q.
What do you call a male zebra?
A. ZeBro.
Q.
What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
A. A zebra.
Q.
Why are zebras so opinionated?
A. 'Cause the them, everything is black and white.
Q.
What did the blonde name her zebra?
A. Spot.
Wild
Animal Pick-Up Line:
Hey baby, do those stripes go all the way down?
Q.
What is a zebra?
A. A horse behind bars.
Denver
Zoo Fact of the Day: Mile High Broncos football
fans really do know what zebras are!
Just
sink your teeth in and chew on this Continental rodent joke.
Q.
What is small, furry, and smells like bacon?
A. A hamster.
Q.
Where do mice and rats go for happy hour cocktails?
A. To the squeakeasy.
Q.
What do rodents do after they eat?
A. Gopher a walk.
Q.
How did the hamster feel after taking a shower?
A. Squeaky clean.
Q.
How do you save a drowning rodent?
A. With mouse to mouse resuscitation!
Pet
Hamster Pick-Up Line:
Hey baby, let's make the exercise wheel squeak all night!
Q.
What do you call a wet bear?
A. A drizzly bear!
Q.
Which kind of bear changes his mind every few minutes?
A. A bi-polar bear.
Q.
Why did the lawyer call the grizzly to the stand?
A. So he could bear witness.
Q.
When do bruin couples finally stop arguing?
A. When it becomes un-bear-able, or it's time to hibernate.
Q.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear with a harp?
A. A bear-faced lyre.
Q.
Why should you never say hello to a brown bear's ass?
A. 'Cause you'll meet a grizzly end!
Q.
What's the difference between curing bird flu and swine
flu?
A. With bird flu you need tweetment, and with swine flu
you need oinkment.
Q.
Why don't pigs ever recover from an illness?
A. Because you have to kill them before you can cure them!
Q.
What do you call a pig that's no fun to be around?
A. A Boar!
Q.
Which kind of social gatherings do pigs like the most?
A. Sow-prise parties!
Q.
Why did the pig go to a casino?
A. She wanted to play the slop machines.
Q.
What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Q.
What do you call a bird that can fix just about anything?
A. Duck Tape.
Q.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
A. He quacks up!
Q.
What does a well-dressed duck wear to a formal affair?
A. His ducks-edo.
Q.
What does a goose say when a Mallard is in the vee flight
path?
A. What the duck?
Q.
Why is animal poop sexy?
A. Because the birds and bees doo it.
Q.
Chickens rise when the rooster crows, so when do ducks get
up?
A. At the quack of dawn.
Water
Fowl Pick-Up Line: Wanna
Duck?
Q.
When do spiders go on their honeymoon?
A. After their webbing day.
Q.
Why did the spider go on a test drive?
A. He just wanted to go for a spin.
Q.
What is it called when big hairy spiders rain down out of
the sky?
A. A tarantula downpour!
Q.
Which kind of spider hangs around cannabis grow houses?
A. Daddy Bong Legs.
Q.
Why are spiders such great tennis players?
A. Because they have great topspin.
Q.
What do you call a male spider who is very well endowed?
A. Daddy Dong Legs.
Eight-Legged
Point to Ponder: Do arachnid puns really bite?
Q.
What do monkeys do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q.
What happened after a monkey exploded at a food testing
lab?
A. Rhesus pieces were everywhere.
Q.
Where do gorillas pick up rumors?
A. Over the ape-vine.
Q.
Which kind of monkeys share an Amazon account?
A. Prime-Mates.
Q.
What kind of underwear do sexy monkeys wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q.
What do you call an angry monkey?
A. Furious George.
Q.
Which monkeys enjoy seafood?
A. Shrimpanzees.
Q.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A. A Pythong!
Q.
What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A. Hiss-tory!
Q.
What was the snake's best subject in school?
A. Math, because he was an adder.
Q.
What is it called when a rattlesnake can't produce venom?
A. E-reptile dysfunction!
Q.
What do you get when you cross a serpent with a tuba?
A. A snake in the brass.
Q.
How did the herpatologist's vet treat the sick snake?
A. With asp-irin.
Q.
Which medication does a lisping snake take before giving
a presentation?
A. Anti-hiss-tamines.
Q.
What do you call a scary snake invasion south of the Rio
Grande?
A. Hiss-panic.
Reptilian
Pick-Up Line: Hey Eve,
I hear you like big snakes?
Q.
Where do the most ants live?
A. In Antlantic City.
Q.
What do you call a small female insect who can see the future?
A. Clair Voy Ant.
Q.
Why don't ants ever get sick?
A. Because they have anty bodies.
Q.
Why don't vampires like mosquitoes?
A. Too much competition!
Q.
What do you call a ladybug or a scarab that prefers to ascend
up steep surfaces?
A. An uphill beetle.
Q.
What do you call a homeless bug?
A. A Bum-blebee!
Q.
What do you call an insect that can't have too much sugar?
A. A Dia-beetle.
Q.
What do fireflies eat?
A. Light snacks.
Q.
What do termites call the wood on some dining furniture?
A. Table food.
Q.
Why couldn't the butterfly go to the dance?
A. Because it was a moth ball.
Q.
What do you call an underwater social network?
A. Fishbook!
Q.
What do you call a fish who wears an ascot?
A. So fish-ticated!
Q.
Which fish is the best dressed?
A. The swordfish because they always look sharp!
Q.
What kind of fish could help you hear better?
A. A Herring Aid.
Q.
What's the best way to catch a fish?
A. Have someone throw it to you.
Q.
How does a fish access the World Wide Web?
A. It using the Net.
Q.
What did the sign at the flea market say to advertise free
low quality fish aquariums?
A. Tanks for Nothing.
Q.
What happened after Denver's Channel 9 hired a fishy tabloid
reporter to do human interest stories?
A. The station's ratings really tanked.
Fishy
Groan of the Day: If you know more funny fish puns, let
minnow!